Today, is 1.2.34 Hijrah 2012 Masihi.
Thanks Allah for the breath, the spirits, the loves and the safe place you give to me, to us.

Whatever I do--
Wherever I go--
It from YOU. 
The GREAT one.

In shaa ALLAH.

Prophet Muhammad said “Do not cut off relations with one another. Do not oppose one another. Do not harbor enmity towards one another. Do not envy one another. Be brothers as God has commanded you to be”.

Peace and blessings be upon him.




"I didn't choose you, my heart did. And Allah give you to me."

not meaning by GREAT.

it come with ALHAMDULILLAH.



Don't hide--
behind the ghosts that rise from tea cups,
or the dreams you drink and forget.

the moon is awake.

And you--
you’re alive and beautiful.


Not some 'raplah' anymore.


8 months
25 weeks
175 days---
sort of.

Oh hello, Im back again.

Miss me? Nahhh
In shaa ALLAH, everything will be chance.

One day in February.


You know I hate hearts.
I would rather have circles.
They last forever.


I’m more beautiful and full of inspiration than ever before.
The silence is over, and baby,
I’m back.




Hell....oh stalkers.

May God bless all of you.

*waving with my middle finger*

Stupid Thief.


February 10, 1999 - 7.12am
The day that I was in accident.
Got 5 stitches at my right eye.


February 11, 2012, 7.12am
My Handsome car got sodomy.
I was as usual jogging to get fit again.
They got nothing after their brother (master of thief) hit them because they got wrong person to rob.
Haha. Dont play with me okay. I knew all the thief.
Finally, they posted back all my documents.




I can jogging like always.
No worries anymore.

Thank alot to Mr Nathan -postmen who called Honda's person to tell that he have all my documents.
Thanks sir! May God blessed you and family. Thanks again.

Bitch, please.


I hate people who have mouths. Who can talk. I wish words didn’t mean so much. I wish it wouldn’t cause me to hate anything. At the same time, without talking, there would be silence. Sometimes the silence is good between two. I hate when ignorant people talk and they have no freaking clue what they are talking about and they try to make it sound smart. Just stop! It’s not! Shut the fuck up!

Stop acting like you’re that poor-orphan-beaten-by-an-alcoholic-step-father or something when you’re not. Give yourself a slap in the face. Or a kick up your ass. Live your life. Shut the fuck-of-hell up.

My work here is done. I quit. Like a bawss. FY!

The union of spirits I.


I'm one of them for 5 years. And for all the Scout competition around the Malaysia, we are the CHAMPION! This is high school story. But now I'm still scout women. I got my Kelana -- 'Rambu diRaja'. Don't play play. :)

The union of spirits.


I found this blessed Valentine Day card after I clean up all my stuffs. It was back in 2002 when I met them at private college in Taiping, Perak. Sepet & Eimy -- until now we've been contact. Whoa! Almost 10 years babe! Alhamdulillah. I never regret. Think positive. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.

May Allah bless both of u guys. Godspeed!

Be Bold.


Everyone hurts, right? Everyone experiences some sort of emotional pain at least once in their life; it makes me wonder, perhaps the pain we experience, for whatever reason, as we transition from youth, to the early adult years…maybe this pain is part of what makes some people grow up in the space of weeks, or a few months? Last year, I went through a lot of emotional pain; I don’t regret it, because it’s made me stronger, and I wouldn’t be where I am now, but I do think that it forced me to grow up and see the world, and the people in it, a little more clearly. Pain is hard, but it’s good if you use it constructively…

I am.


I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul. You are the master of my fate. You are the captain of my soul. First, you create your own destiny, not God, so stop blaming Him for what is happening with you, you committed your own fault not others, so stop blaming. You win something because of you not because of them. You are you not because of your parents’ genes but because of your genes. Stop depending. You are born with your own brain for a reason, your own heart for a reason. Stop over thinking what others will think of you. Over thinking will just squeeze the you out of you.

I just want to breathe, I just want to feel alive.

Wish List?



For the first time in my life, I really don’t have enough time in the day to do everything I need to do. It’s stressful, hectic and makes me want to break things. However, it feels right when I have some wish list(s).


I'm just being myself. ♥

I wish more interesting things would happen in my life.
I want to drop kick someone before doomsday will be started.
I wish people would see how their ignorance/close mindedness hurts other people rather than focusing why other people are wrong/bad.
I wish I was lucky enough.

I'm so done.
I wish I could just turn my emotions off.

So Real.


What’s wrong with the world? No one says what they feel. They always hold it inside. They’re sad, but they don’t cry. They’re happy but they don’t dance or sing. They’re angry but they don’t scream. Because, if they do.. they feel ashamed, and that’s the worst feeling in the world. So everyone walks with there heads down and no one sees how beautiful the sky is.

Sometimes it just takes patience for everything to happen. You won’t get respect in just one day, you can’t be in love with someone that you just met, and you won’t be able to forgive yourself in a second. I’ve learned that helping people is good, but helping someone too much won’t let them grow. You grow by making mistakes, getting hurt, learning from your regrets. Thoughts are there to help guide you to your decision. It’s you that has to take that first step onto the pathway of happiness. It’s your doing that makes you who you are. Don’t assume, get your facts straight; that’s what messes a lot of people up. There’s always the true story and reasoning behind everything. We are all different, but have one thing in common; we all want happiness. It’s like we’re all trying to fight for it, trying to get what we want and it makes us forget the whole reason why we wanted it in the first place. Nobody said life was going to be easy. Life is what you make of it. Change for the better, don’t change for someone else, change for yourself. Don’t be selfish. Don’t limit yourself from doing things just because you don’t think you can make it through. Remember, time isn’t going to wait for you, so make the best of it.

I love you, dear friend. Be fucking awesome.

The Prince of Terror(ist).


A perfect annunciation of words, carried on a pure liquid voice, lips framed by a perfectly sculpted moustache. Over-zealous-over-expressed emotions to capture the moment, to distract from the not-so-great effects of the time. Pondering himself and the joy of his work, never afraid to poke holes into the genre of his life.

Get lost!



I knew you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose, keep in touch (or don’t), care about birthdays, waste and lose time, brush their teeth, feel nostalgia, scrub stains, have religions and political parties and laws, wear keepsakes, apologize years after an offense, whisper, fear themselves, interpret dreams, hide their genitalia, shave, bury time capsules, and can choose not to eat something for reasons of conscience. The justifications for eating animals and for not eating them are often identical: we are not them.

Now I have to learn that my words are now my own. I’m back in a place where I’m speaking but I go unheard. Where listening is a burden that I cannot bear.

I don’t remember how to live in silence.

Burst into Flames.


“Busy, busy, busy” is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle.  It’s “what Bokononists whisper whenever we think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.” I’m 28 and I have migraine and high blood pressure. I’ve felt sorry for myself…I’ve been angry and sad and defeated. Life is unpredictable, but it’s the only one we have. So even if we’re not where we think we should be or in pain or things don’t go according to plan, accept the things you can’t control and be strong enough to keep trying for the things you desire.

Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.


Cucu Atok II.


Mama ada Myvi je. Ayah ada Satria je.
Tapi Ryan lagi hebat la! Ryan ada Ferrari. Atok hilir belikan.
Lagi laju! Vroom! Vroom! 

Cucu Atok.


You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

- Muhammad Izz Rayyan bin Dzul Khairi

Langkasuka hati.


My star. My rawk star.


People have stars, but they aren’t the same. For travelers, the stars are guides. For other people, they’re nothing but tiny lights. And for still others, for scholars, they’re problems. For my businessman, they were gold. But all those stars are silent stars. You, though, you’ll have stars like nobody else.

When you look up at the sky at night, since I’ll be living on one of them, since I’ll be laughing on one of them, for you, it’ll be as if all the stars are laughing. You’ll have stars that can laugh!

And when you’re consoled (everyone is eventually consoled), you’ll be glad you’ve known me. You’ll always be my friend. You’ll feel like laughing with me. And you’ll open your windows sometimes just for the fun of it… And your friends will be amazed to see you laughing while you’re looking up at the sky. Then you’ll tell them --- Yes, it’s the stars. They always make me laugh!

Welcome, doomsday.


My plan is to forgive and forget. Forgive myself for being so stupid, and forget you ever existed. Then I wish all my enemies a long life, so they can see me succeed in life!

Thank God for what I have now because I know that one day God will take it away.

That's all.

God Speed!