She doesn’t know how to live in a world filled with such shallowness. She doesn’t have the tools to thrive in a world like this, with its arrogance and its ignorance. Maybe if she was beautiful. Maybe if she didn’t have scars. Maybe if she wasn’t such an overthinker. Maybe if she wasn’t so insecure. Maybe then she could live in a world like this. Now she looks around. She sees the world. She sees nature and its beauty. And she sees that everything ugly in this world is manmade. All she can think is: ‘I do not want to be part of this species. I do not want to add to all the ugliness’. Show to yourself that people can make beautiful things too, stranger. Make something beautiful.
Fade to black.
Right before I pass out for the night — I say pass out, because I can never peacefully fall asleep. I have to be on the verge of passing out, before I will finally flop down on the bed. I ask two simple questions, just as the blackness takes me. What if I never wake up? What if I do wake up again? I am engulfed in two last feelings, curiosity and wonder. The two sensations remind me of something important; that is always my last thought before I sleep: This life is all I can ever hope for, all I could have ever want, all I will ever know.
"Ooh, I look cutee!" said Izz Rayyan.
We all have a story to tell. Whisper or fucking yell.
I know you’ll never know what it is to truly feel to think. This could be happy and be fine. But you cannot think beyond that point that is. You may strive to dive and drive into the infinite but the reality is every road ends, somewhere.
If you lived here, you’d know, you’d show and you’d grow. Where you go and let go and go with that. And at last you flow. To live and love in a better tomorrow, one that suggests happiness and dances with desire.
My burden is incalculable but I have little patience. Keep positive like someone always reminds me. Place revenge safely and have lots of Doa.
And I'm fine. Thank you. ILY!
Dunia maju.Tapi kepala otak kau je lagi mundur. Siap simpan kat ceruk dapur.
Bangun la! Tengok cermin. Teliti diri kau dulu.
Jangan hanya tau nak sekat rezeki orang lain. Jangan hanya tau nak menidakkan benda yang dah terang terang betul.
Bodoh la kau!
Tapi serius kan kau bodoh. Orang lain ambil degree 3 tahun je. Kau?? 8 tahun. Jadah gila babi! Nak aku aibkan kau? Aku waras lagi. Otak pinjaman Allah ni perlu di jaga.
Pada pengaib-pengaib sekalian. Aku diam bukan bermakna aku bodoh atau takot. Aku hanya tunggu balasan je. Tuhan kan maha mengetahui. Semua berlaku kan ada hikmahnya. Jadi, tunggu dan lihat je la. Kain pengaib-pengaib akan terbuka sendiri. Hidup ni kan karma. Takkan ke mana pon.
Jangan macam babi. Walaupun merah tapi tetap haram. Kau pon hampir macam tu la. Hampir-hampir je lagi. Sikittttt je lagi.
Semoga bahagia dengan dunia bacul kau la ye.
Everybody’s born with some different thing at the core of their existence. And that thing, whatever it is, becomes like a heat source that runs each person from the inside. I have one too, of course. Like everybody else. But sometimes it gets out of hand. It swells or shrinks inside me, and it shakes me up. What I’d really like to do is find a way to communicate that feeling to another person.
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
I want out of the labels. I don’t want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that’s not on the map. A real adventure. A sphinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined.
7:06 PM
Posted by
Dokna
I never be afraid, never be afraid to raise my voice for honesty and truth and compassion; against injustice, lying and greed. Not just for you in this room, but in all the other thousands of rooms like this one today and tomorrow and next week will do this, not as a class or classes, but as individuals, men and women, I will change the earth.
Like I said I’ve never any pity for conceited people, because I think they carry their comfort about with them. Stupig.
I remember all that part so very clearly. And I remember a little later wondering why things always turn out to be diametrically opposed to what you expect them to be. It’s no good even trying to predict what this opposite will be because it always fools you and turns out to be the opposite of that, if you see what I mean. If you think this is geometrically impossible all I can say is that you don’t know my life.
The best way out is always through.
That is me.
I rise.
1:08 AM
Posted by
Dokna
I thought, when you left
I couldn’t live another moment, I couldn’t outlast another past.
Until
I realized:
U
Is/are/were
Just another vowel
Not necessary
To form...we.
Sometimes the wrong train can take us to the right place.
So, please register your name to the hell. Haha! GL!
I had learned already never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?
Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win. That is you. Real you. Can you just growns up? Oh FY!! Everyone needs a place. It shouldn’t be inside of someone else. I kept my mind on the moon. Cold moon, long nights moon.
Just remember life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Creatively. Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again.
Growns up.
Enjoy reading.
Also.
I have one. Inoue--
Inoue mean Inau in Kenyah language or Apa in Malay language. Seriously, it looks funny kot!
Dokna 'Inau' or Dokna 'Apa'.
Comel la. "Sigu, kenapa nama kawan sigu dokna inau (apa)?" --- kan comel tu! Lovely la weyh! Anak murid seorang rakan mengajar di Batam. Bijak dia nih. Time mengajar bukak Facebook. Baik jangan jadi cikgu la..baik jadi ciku! hahha! Terbaik. Orang semua panggil aku, Dokna. Ko sesat panggil Nurul. But okay. Nurul nama sopan. Tq dol! Ko sorang je cukup panggil aku Nurul. Orang lain takyah! Kaki aku bagi nanti. Haha!
Hakuna Matata!
Manusia;
hidup penuh dengan kemunafikan--di tipu, dibohongi, dikhianti--
Pedih? Tapi itukan cara terbaik untuk buka mata pada realiti.
Kann??
Alaa.
Just like SARCASM lah!
Thats new body's natural defense against STUPID person.
Totally like you. My ass-old-friend. Oh, not really friend, some beggar actually.
May your God bless you.
Snare breath.
Erm..almost a year i didn't updated any words--blessed word.
So, hello world.
It's 11.11.11; 22:33pm. Lucky? Not really. Just some shit number i guess.
I'm fresh today.
Alhamdulillah.
*pause*
It is sad. Totally sad. My uncle just passed away.
To uncle "Pakcik pergi mengadap Ilahi. Semoga ditempatkan digolongan orang beriman & dirahmati olehNya. InsyaAllah, syurga buatmu."
Al-fatihah.
Please pray for him.
Assalamualaikum.
We will meet you soon.
InsyaAllah.
